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How to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem: 6 Powerful Practices for Personal Growth
- Anne Bellavance
- Sep 15
- 4 min read
Why Self-Esteem Matters
by Dr John Bellavance
Self-esteem is more than just “feeling good about yourself.” It is the belief that we are competent to face life’s challenges and worthy of happiness. It shapes how we learn, adapt, and overcome adversity.
As Robert Reasoner reminds us:
“A sense of competence is strengthened through realistic and accurate self-appraisal, meaningful accomplishments, overcoming adversities, bouncing back from failures, and assuming self-responsibility and integrity.”
Read on to discover How to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem through 6 Powerful Practices for Personal Growth.
What is Authentic Self-Esteem?
True self-esteem allows us to face change with confidence and resilience. Without it, even beauty, wealth, and popularity can feel empty—as seen in the struggles of many celebrities who, despite fame, battle anxiety and depression.
Nathaniel Branden defines self-esteem as:
“The disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with life’s challenges and as being worthy of happiness.”
Authentic self-esteem grows when we live with integrity, responsibility, and purpose. It is not simply about self-image—it’s about living in alignment with our values, making meaningful contributions, and finding fulfilment in growth and service.
The Danger of False Self-Esteem
There is often confusion about the true meaning of self-esteem.
Some believe it simply involves ‘feeling good about yourself’ or ‘thinking positively about yourself.’ However, self-esteem can sometimes manifest as conceit, narcissism or a sense of superiority (Reasoner 2016).
In some cases, people derive self-esteem from external factors such as peer popularity, sexual conquests or even bullying (Devine, Saunders et al. 2001). Yet, these aren’t indicators of authentic and healthy self-esteem; rather, they are defensive responses to its absence. Individuals with low self-esteem may deflect blame onto others and avoid taking accountability for their actions (Branden 1995).
True self-esteem cannot be imposed from the outside; it must be cultivated from within.
What are the outcomes of having self-esteem?
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (Branden, 1995)
Healthy self-esteem can be built and sustained by practising six key principles:
Living consciously – Facing truth, acknowledging mistakes, and learning from them. facing uncomfortable truths about yourself, being fully aware of your actions as you perform them, and actively seeking truth, knowledge and feedback to foster personal growth.
Developing authentic self-esteem requires defining your values and embodying them with integrity. A fundamental aspect of this process is your commitment to honesty – being willing to critically evaluate your own values and actions without avoidance or justification (Berkowitz, Colby et al. 2002).
When you live consciously and learn from your mistakes, you gain a greater sense of control over your life. Through this self-reflection and willingness to acknowledge your shortcomings, personal growth and self-esteem can truly develop.
Self-acceptance – Recognising your worth while embracing imperfections. This means facing your mistakes and learning from them. Feeling worthy (the emotional aspect of self-esteem) is a result of living a responsible life.
Self-esteem is cultivated through the way you live. It requires a conscious effort to act with responsibility and integrity. When you make good choices and witness the resultant positive outcomes, your sense of self-worth is reinforced.
Self-Responsibility – owning our choices and actions, creating empowerment and freedom.
Responsibility plays a crucial role in self-esteem. Research shows that when young people are given a lot of freedom without clear boundaries or expectations, they often feel unsupported and uncared for. Teaching young people to live within appropriate behavioural boundaries is essential to their emotional wellbeing.
Studies have documented a strong correlation between low self-esteem and various social and personal issues, including violence, substance abuse, eating disorders, school dropouts, teenage pregnancy, suicide and low academic performance (Reasoner 2016).
Taking responsibility for your life fosters empowerment, providing a sense of control and freedom. By acting responsibly, you promote your personal growth, which in turn strengthens your self-esteem and self-respect. Through this process, you take ownership of your character development (Devine, Saunders et al. 2001).
Self-assertiveness – Expressing your values, thoughts, and feelings with respect. This means having the willingness to express appropriately your thoughts, values and feelings and to stand up for yourself.
Living purposefully – Setting goals and working with competence to achieve them, rather than living at the mercy of chance and outside forces. Competence is the behavioural aspect of self-esteem. It is concerned with achieving a sense that you are competent in producing the result that you want to achieve in life and your ability to make good decisions. Competence is strengthened through realistic and accurate self-appraisal, meaningful accomplishments, overcoming adversities and bouncing back from failures.
Adopting such practices as self-responsibility and maintaining integrity, engenders your sense of competence and self-worth (Reasoner 2016).
Integrity – Aligning words and actions with your convictions. This means walking the talk, where your words, convictions and actions match. Integrity means to speak and act from our deepest convictions. It also means being authentic in your dealings with others and refusing to fake the reality of who you are or what you esteem in order to avoid disapproval.
You must act according to what you believe is right, telling the truth and honouring your commitments. You can’t experience self-respect if you betray your conscience, knowledge and conviction.
People can be inspired and guided to live more consciously, embrace self-acceptance, take responsibility for their actions, assert themselves, live with purpose and uphold personal integrity. However, the responsibility for cultivating and maintaining these practices rests with each individual.
Self-esteem can’t be given by others; it must be developed from within (Branden 1995).
The Path to Lasting Self-Esteem
Developing authentic self-esteem is a lifelong journey of reflection, responsibility, and resilience. It cannot be handed to us by others but must be built through daily choices that align with our highest values.
When we live consciously, accept ourselves, take responsibility, act with purpose, and walk with integrity, we not only strengthen our self-worth but also enrich our families, communities, and the world around us.
✨ True self-esteem is the quiet confidence of living
a life of integrity, responsibility, and love.
You must act according to what you believe is right, telling the truth and honouring your commitments. You can’t experience self-respect if you betray your conscience, knowledge, and conviction.
People can be inspired and guided to live more consciously, embrace self-acceptance, take responsibility for their actions, assert themselves, live with purpose and uphold personal integrity. However, the responsibility for cultivating and maintaining these practices rests with each person.
🎥 Watch Dr John Bellavance's video here:
Videos and Framework created by Dr John Bellavance
Global Vice President, Sun Moon University (SMU)
Oceania Coordinator, International Association of Academicians for Peace
Vice-President, Universal Peace Federation Australia
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